Replying to a comment on:

glimpses (Free verse) by nentwined

Disposable needles in the evening, orange-bright for avoidance speak of dreams (avoided--injected--forgotten) Cold wind chills bones that think they're warm, and a smile rolls back into nothingness. At last the pain (life) and pleasure (life) blend, and she (for one moment) fears the confusion, then gives in-- she is gone. Pigeons nest against her body for some last vestige of warmth but leave in the silence of dawn. The city decomposes.

god'swife 22-Oct-03/10:48 AM
Wow, good for you. Much more depth then I've seen from you before. Could you move the 1st stanza inbetween some of the others? I think the second stanza would do much better as teh first, nice strong intro.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001