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Toku (Free verse) by Bill Z Bub

NATURE! Toku shouts NATURE! in the midst, in the center surrounded, hands high, as others grip the slick rails and turn amused eyes, He laughs HA! NATURE! and the Thunderbeings laugh back! NATURE! in the mist tasting NATURE! on fingers and cheeks, soaking NATURE! in clothing and hair, Toku laughs HA! and the Maiden smiles back.

poetandknowit 21-Oct-03/9:45 PM
Toku sounds Japanese or a shortened version of such, not primal, unless you think Asian names in their guttural stress patterns come of in a prehistoric or ancient fashion. I am not sure it does. You are correct in one aspect. We are discussing issues in the poem, as we did in the other of issues that do not merit debate. If you are good with the poem, okay. But frankly I think it could use more Toku and less NATURE. The idea is good, and you filling in the perceptions are good, but I am not so sure the poem is in this state. Just an opinion. And Maiden sounds odd even though I know it fits into a kings and queens primal sense. I’d rather debate you poems. They are closer to being finished.




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