Replying to a comment on:
the way things are goin'
(
Free verse
) by
irishfolksuicide
Dry lands day, so fast, the shadows trickle. Masked to a single; the bull moo and blue sky. All cracked skulls buried a single sheet deep. Cracked glasses seep, and pigs new-born fry.
Christof
10-Oct-03/2:43 AM
I like the last line a lot, but 'bull-mo- just sounds wrong - I think you want something a little more guttural, less weak.
Track and Plan your submissions
;
Read some Comics
;
Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001