<~>7 Oct 2003

overall pleasing in its malefic intent.

my opinions, if you will permit me to suggest a few tweaks:

spiral implies 'around', so,
'Twist a whimsied spiral down' would suffice.

also, 'The hanging of a garden abounding with allure'
is a clumsy phrase. make it leaner.

[alluring and abundant, a hanging garden...or something]

'watch we' --tricksy inversion prickles me.

'It itself did engage'--again, a little awkward

'gametic knife'--the heart of the poem, succintly captured. bravo.

good work.