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Orchidess (Free verse) by abecedarian

Smooth slender tendrils Twist a whimsied spiral Down and around The hanging of a garden abounding with allure Watch we As this bee assumes its place In this careful charade Too late startled by a motion It itself did engage By brushing ‘gainst a treachery Lunging, this orchidess stabs its gametic knife Connecting Her purposes served la Fleur resumes an apathetic posture Catasetum the Merciless, spare our souls

ecargo 6-Oct-03/8:21 PM
They're such oddly malevolent flowers--this works quite well. I like "twist a whimsied spiral," but "down and around" is redundant, and I am unreasonably biased against the word "abound"--it just strikes me as one of those "committing acts of poetry" words. The "watch we" inversion strikes a little artificially--does it have some purpose other than the rhyme? I'm usually turned off by archaic tones in modern poems, but the orchid has an odd, other-timely formality that makes it work here (it helps that you keep it light and reasonably subtle). Light and shadow, whimsy and floral murder--what's not to like?




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