Replying to a comment on:

Empty (Free verse) by leviathan

It is cold in this place As if the satin walls of purposeful isolation have tasted betrayal and much like a vengeful sun have succomb to the raindrops of concrete complextion It is as if every angelic voice that ever breathed life in this place finds now no use for copper blood too much does it tarnish when halos were never meant to rust Empty because every color takes without leaving any Empty besides angry clouds that never forget my face Tarnished as all skin has already turned Angry as every dream falls empty as it burns Wrong to believe that the sun will find strength to be alive again Wrong to believe that anything in this place ever gave a damn Wrong to believe that I shouldn’t die for what I am.

god'swife 18-Sep-03/10:40 AM
By the way the first two stanzas are silly at best. What on earth are you trying to say? "Satin walls of purposeful isolation"? What's that? You start of cold and then speak of a vengeful sun, that doesn't seem right.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001