poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on Night walker by INTRANSIT.

nentwined17 Sep 2003

someone's dame. ;)

a bit weak in the end; I think I needed more syntactic sugar (only imagine "that"), and then... the that before "she'd leave" confuses me. bad sentence. no biscuit. ;)

honestly you could drop the last stanza entirely and I think it would be stronger for it. 15/20. Hmm.