Jill Stockinger15 Sep 2003

This has some very nice imagery, some nice lines- but it is not all that clear a poem- interesting you divide one word -overlooking- into 2 words- I do see 2 errors in grammar-
I assume ghost should be plural (ghosts) and adults needs an apostrophe at the end of it: adults' game.
The first phrase is a bit offputting- using "but" there sounds pretentious. "I AM a broken child" is more direct and hardhitting, I think. Explaining why it is a sea of "great minds" would be good- otherwise,it is very unclear. However, there is potential here, worth working on more.