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Not Real (Free verse) by DeadtotheWorld

Hate has raged upon me for too long I've come to release this anger and doldrums Destructive tantrums thrown for no reasons The flowers now bloom on the wrong seasons Darkness and Sorrow glistens in the shadows Of non morbid tones of plateau's Things should not be this way It's all screwed to this day Feeling pain and agony Wanting to take out everyone With this bullets and this gun Crazy and Insane is what they said But It seems fine to me, because now their dead

SupremeDreamer 28-Aug-03/4:29 AM
Hrmm.. i like this poem, despite the slightly retarded

"life sucks lets shoot somebody" Philosophy..

But.. i guess im a sucker for it.

Heres some suggestions:

Get out of the cliche, get into the soul
bring me into the universe of hopelessness
hate and revenge, trasport my mind
into the head of the crazed and depraved,
show me the world of men unsaved
and without hope..

with that stated:

I Want to take out everyone

(gerunds are weak use of verbs, dont use them
habitually)

With bullets and this gun.
Crazy, Psychotic is what they called it.
But thats fine with me,
because their dead.

oh well, my opinion.. you can always tell me to go fuck myself and i wont be offended.

lalala.. blessed with 7




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