SupremeDreamer23 Aug 2003
ok, good, i like the first draft, but we must consider:
GETTING RID OF THE CANDY COATED SUGAR FILLING!!!.. lots of shit here is not needed.
Hear it sing, <--- this was filler..
closer <--- inserted just to sound cool? bad bad bad!!!
This [dark] night {everything} [existing] feels right.
[Allowing it to concurâ¦]
{} means: it might be better to get rid of it.
[] means: TRASH IT!!
man, the way im going, your poem will be a tap dancin midget!!! night is always dark bozo, ive been out of my house during the evenins ya know@!
[Allowing it to concurâ¦] wtf? stop being fancy, if your going to be, atleast do it right!!!
i think you get my overall message.. i hope..