poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on The Grave (thanks to z) by Mr Pig.

<~>19 Aug 2003

i like this very much, pig. some lovely moments, here.
favorites:

its immortalized syntax

fragrant colors are riot

And all I can say, in predictable cliche,
Is, God, how much I love you

topaz clouds,
damasking heaven's constant eye [oops--you need an apostrophe in heaven's]

emblazoned in appropriate Catholicism

the only part i am so/so on is "For you are inscribed on my soul." agh. whenever someone brings up 'soul' in a love and loss poem, it sounds cliched. unless handled with delicate mastery. i dare not do it myself for another 3 decades. think of all that i must learn and unlearn before i turn that phrase! and besides, you deftly dispensed with cliche in the preceding stanzas. so, what can you do about it?

i don't know.

beautiful work, pig.