<~>18 Aug 2003

L3: conflict in personification: that/who
L14: "And precarious fob eachother off as," makes no sense--punctuation might help, or redefine your meaning
L16: what does "the" leviathan have to do with anything? and since when is there only one?

if this were a vocab assignment, you would get 50%.

but i am not trying to be mean. just askking you to think to the best of your ability. it seems you are throwing up veils for the sake of the unlearned. set a tone and keep it. if you would be abstruse, be so throughout. have an even temper, sirrah. you strive to impress, methinks. instead, perhaps, you might strive to enlighten, or better yet, communicate.

no vote yet.