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Sagadahoc to Hudson (Free verse) by http://mulberryfairy

Devising this fervid affair worthy of a scene in a John Irving book, we’ve pretended all the while we could not stop this: the finality of this rocking Greyhound bus, each mile lumbering nearer to our impending fate as adulterers. Though we both know, (married 6 plus years): We simply bore of monogamy’s monotony. I climb the textured stairs locating a window seat where I can lean my pillow against the moist draft, my cash and weed tucked securely in the pillowcase. It started so innocently, you getting my email address from the alumni office, us talking about schools, jobs, partners, children. Dawdling passengers at the station delay the bus while I shake my left leg of impatience checking my watch as the bus groans tardily from the lot. Eventually, our subjects changed, we shared mutual complaints about partners who don’t “give it up” enough. Finally, we are gliding over the interstate, the glow of streetlights far behind, the occasional trucker coasting by this public sleeping place. The conversation reminded us of the joy of our past casual sex, our deviant positions. I check my legs to see that they still are smooth from my careful job of shaving, lotioning, my clean thong and bra wait in my carry-on bag until the moment of arrival when I will endure the stench of blue chemical flushing agent in the midget-sized, wobbling restroom. This “love”, so inconvenient, two poor people living on opposite oceans, yet now we’ve constructed the chance of a year, a 14 hour layover en route to your solo work conference. We stop, and stop, and stop again at Greyhound terminals in every nook of New England. I stay on board, glowering at sleepy passengers who get out to buy mushy vending machine pastries and coffee that reeks of being on the burner too long. The bus was the best price, ninety dollars, round trip, from the Sagadahoc to the Hudson, I’d have to cover my heightsick eyes over each river in between. Then we are halfway there. Connecticut’s arrival is announced by arduous potholes which jolt the bus, arousing sleepers’ startle reflexes. Once we gave up pretending to be reluctant (faithful) we resolutely selected the date of a conference for you around my period, for maximum oral possibilities. Then there is a faint smell of smoke, a feeling that the we’ve ceased to accelerate, I look up from my Kama Sutra book expecting yet another stop but see only the blackness of highway, feeling the bus pulling onto the uneven shoulder. The bus driver turns on the inside lights, and makes his regretful announcement, not seeming nearly surprised enough. Fellow passengers squint and groan, pulling out cell phones irritably, I stare, mournfully, past my reflection through the tinted windowpane as southbound cars’ taillights disappear down I-95.

god'swife 13-Aug-03/6:05 PM
But I can't see the forest for those analytical trees. Stop explaining, just tell. Either I get it, or I don't, but don't spoil the poetry/insight with (for lack of a better word)sub-titles. Funny, every time I want to explain myself to you I start speaking in personal little analogies and it just comes out muttled. It must be a sign.

Let me think.

In the eleventh stanza, you create this fabulous rythm in the first 3 lines;

The BUS was the BEST...
NiiiiiinTee dollars, RUOOOOOOUUUND trip.
From the Sagadahoc to the Hudson(great sounding line, really top-notch, and it's the Title, perfect)

and suddenly I'm dumped into the cold river of

I'd have to cover my height sick eyes.

First of all, what is, and why, a Heightsick? It's an obscure image/reference, but most importantly, it's an ugly-sounding word. Find a substitiute, get back in the flow.

Stanza 12, you don't need the word "then" at the beginning. At this point you're reminding yourself of the details, but the audience is distracted by unimportant things, like the word "then", it explains to YOU a sequence, but to the reader it just bores him, breaks up the rythm... well theres just no charm to it. Maybe that's just a personal thing.

I'm glad you think the bus just absolutely had to breakdown. Now think about why she couldn't stop it herself? Why did fate have to intervene? One reason maybe because sex is a force of its own. Now explain that to me, how the bus saved her because she would never be able to save herself. the thing is, you have to tell me the truth, your very own truth.

There is no quick fix here. You are old enough and experienced enough, good mother, to really explore. But on your boots and pack your knife, confront the fucking beautiful tragic reality of being human. It may take time, but you'll come back intact, and ready to tell me a story.




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