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Musings: Willow Sculpture (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer

Oh weeping willow! You cause me to ruminate upon the tears that slide along slender, lachrymose blades, enshrouding your stooped form. My calm examination leaves me to conclude that your legion of keen leaves exist only to sheathe the humiliation of your failure. I consider your timid stance a decrepit show of defiance which makes me think: You are not a weeping willow, but a living statue; the frozen image of opprobrium. ----------------------------------------------------------- This is how I write willow poems luckjoe... enjoy the curse that I just did engrave and burn on your forehead.

-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 10-Aug-03/10:15 AM
Do you know what this poeme sounds like to me? It sounds like you thought about "weeping willows", and whenever you couldn't think of a word, or you could think of a word but wanted a better word meaning something similar, you looked in a dictionary or thesaurus to try and find the most sophisticated word you could, and then used that instead. The result is the slantiest pile of pretentious "you cause me to ruminate" verse I have ever seen. What a mess. Like Dante meets bosh in a crack lounge. I would urge anyone reading the words: ruminate, lachrymose, enshrouding, legion, decrepit or opprobrium, to picture the 17 year old SupremeDreamer earnestly leafing through the dictionary in search of said word, with an uncompromisingly learned expression on his bloated face. As far as I can see, if you are barely literate then your only chance to hit the big leagues as writer is to become a ballsy Y2K slam-street poete. Personally, I prefer a fusion of flash-dance with MC Hammer shit.




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