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Weeping Willow (Free verse) by LuckyJoe

Head hung in sorrow, Tears drip leaf like from its body. Drooping down to stir in water like fingers. The breeze through its hair doesn’t ease. Alone at line of shore, solitude, Limbs cut for whippings, Again to cry seeing, feeling infliction of pain. Still by itself it stands hunched over. Soil unfertile no longer can the grass grow. All friends long since died… Alone it stands, only to hear it’s own cries. The lake of tears slap up the bank, Erosion coming always nearer. Soon this willow will weep its last day, For it too will be with its friends… Submerged within the bay. ****************************** So to fit the wants of some people around here I tried writing this poem two different ways. I can't say I like the bottom at all. It took what I made the poem and made it sound dull, the above has a style and mind set of its own. The bottom just sounds copied and forced to be something it doesn't want to be. Lots of comments please, want to know what everyone else is thinking about the difference between the two and which is better. What needs working on... that sort of thing. Thank you in advance to everyone. ****************************** Head hung in sorrow, Tears drip leaf like from body. Drooping down to stir in water as fingers. The breeze through its hair doesn’t ease. Alone at line of shore, solitude, Limbs cut for whippings, Again to cry seeing, feeling infliction of pain. Still standing alone hunched over. Soil unfertile no longer can grass grow. All friends long since died… Alone it stands, hearing only it’s own cries. The lake of tears slap upside the bank, Erosion coming always nearer each day. Soon this willow tree will weep no longer, For it too will be with its friends… Submerged within the bay.

SupremeDreamer 9-Aug-03/9:45 AM
Attempt to use a dictionary and some simple reading.. thats all you need to do to go down that road of understanding our elitist code...

"Talk to me like I'm human not Mr. Webster himself."

you dont do any amount of work into bettering your writing.. you wont even try to figure out the meaning of simple words by typing in www.webster.com and copy/pasting a word or two into the dictionary box and reading the definition it gives you..

wow, you can utter excuses all goddamn day and do absolutely nothing to improve your writing/reading ability.

look, its not hard, im a highschool drop out with terrible spelling and poor grammar, and im also an all star junky, ive done it all... but i still manage to understand those "extremely complicated" phrases... man, thats sad when the bottom of the barrel can do a thousand times better than you.. or maybe being a highschool dropout junky with terrible spelling and grammar has nothing to do with it.. hrmm? what do you think? eh?

i really pity you..




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