thepinkbunnyofdoom4 Aug 2003

The ghost stanza, is nice but just doesn't seem to fit. Look at the rest of the poem. You are talking about torture, bravery, slavery, morality, and etc., etc. The Idea of a spirit, the soul of a being that is supposed to have passed on, just doesn't work right here. Don't get me wrong you've thought it out well. Depth, you have here like nobody's business. The main reason, I feel that ghost doesn't belong? You need a better verb than are. Your other Stanzas, have a verb that is both appropriate, and futher builds the desire to read on(Well other than the one about the poet, for some odd reason look just doesn't go right there). I do not feel that the ghost stanza is a masterpiece, not compared to how I see the rest of the poem. Try copying this into word, or notepad, or whatever you write in, and try, just deleting the Poet and Ghost Stanzas. If you don't like it fine by me, but I like it much better that way.