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marriage (Free verse) by bearhead

I was trying to hear the tiny noises In a confined room~ Distracted by the remembrance Of a dream Where the choices rang like bells~ Yes, I knew him, he was Like Pavlov's dogs when she smiled. The church now rings its knell His finest day is done.... She smiling in a virgin's gown Her crimson smile; A bitter frown. The next ten years are hell All of it came to me in that box ~the wild ticking of clocks.

http://mulberryfairy 2-Aug-03/11:55 AM
Good job, I like the way the shift from happiness to doom seems so quick, like in real life marriages. I don't think "knell" works there as knell is a kind of sound more than something you can ring. Saying smile and smiling two lines in a row was a little too close together.




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