poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on The Longest Wait (Revised) by Caducus.

http://mulberryfairy30 Jul 2003

The rhythm seems very lyrical, whether intended or not, but then the quality is broken abruptly with these longer lines. Maybe I've been reading too much rhyming poetry. But the words and images are a great start, just seem to need a little rearranging.