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How it should have happened (Free verse) by INTRANSIT

I walk into a room full with the sweet smell of perversion Cheshire grins surround me and I'm led into velour seclusion almost. Pinkie signs to obligatory armless fashion opposite a coy body cornered Shy words escape excited lungs answered with inhaled thoughts and exhaled ideas while eyes follow the ceiling floating down and resting on my underdeveloped chin. The delay has been extinguished silent silk strides in a slow attack and perches capable in her denim saddle picking and plucking at my shirt looking for fresh answers with intentional descent ending with excited discovery dampness looms she fits to me easy deliberate oil derrick motion destined for destruction...... (to be continued when I figure out how)

poetandknowit 30-Jul-03/3:24 PM
Good god man put down the Playboy and step away from the thesaurus. What kind of poet are you? These images sound more like the work of a high school boy forlorn and lost in puppy love rather than a poem of sexual power. And what the hell kind of image of sex are you trying to portray with the corny oil derrick image. Mechanical, monotonous, boring. Yeah, that will get the women rocking and rolling. Dial down the center my man and maybe find the real poem in here. Until then keep on keepin' on. Moreover, I wanted to ask you: I read a book where clan members and right wing conspiracy theorists used that fancy phrase you taught me. Is that the crowd you hang out with?




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