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Forsaken Faults (Free verse) by DeadtotheWorld

The struggling scientist calculating in his lab Not realizing what a great life he has had Not knowing what to do next The scientist stays up from midnight to eight Not knowing what he just did that’s great He has just cured cancer and he’s not going to stop He has just realized theirs a formula he has to drop To make the solution of world hunger a reality Then the lonely bum on the street wakes up He now know this will never happen, it was just a dream

SupremeDreamer 30-Jun-03/8:29 AM
ah, ok ok. I see. btw, i notice some sort of pattern with the first words of each line in your poem:

The
Not
Not
The
Not
He
He
To
Then
He

I suggest thinking of better ways to start your lines.. and to avoid such dull repetition of these words. Dont feel bad, I'm working on not using the word I, so your not alone in learning how to be more creatively flexible with language.




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