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Sage (Free verse) by DreamerSupreme

Quiet whispers Sending slow shivers While under covers Slow visions of the past Present, and future The whirlwind of faces Old places of battle Like a calm serene field Green and beautifull But the scarred warrior Can only see the mud And blood seeping Deep into the earth From birth tormented All his pain he Could have prevented Yet.. perhaps it was A choice made for Wise reasons Lessons ingrained deep Into my unconquered mind All the tales and multicolored lives I find Bound to succeed at every cost The raw spirit applied wisdom And calm thought to itself All has been won long ago The illusion of time Was what required the path To play out

SupremeDreamer 30-Jun-03/8:11 AM
Emotional depth... ah well, ok, do me a favor and explain to me what you mean by that. Because, frankly it was not the poems mission to strike emotional feelings.. its mission was to induce philosophical/metaphysical thought. This usually doesn't require injecting the emotion potion into it, which might easily start to evolve the poems mission to induce thoughts of religion.

The reason it seems machine written, is because eastern mystic writings hold to a code of apathetical presentation.. due to the belief that emotion at times tends to suffocate the meaning of the mystical piece. So it expresses emotion without delving into intense emotional expression.

OK? no offense taken as to your opinion, i dont get pissed with advice or criticism. BUT i do feel that one should try to understand the point of the poem and think perhaps why the poet wrote it in a certain way. I do agree, the poem reads quite banal, but it has to do with what it talks about. Compare my OM poem and this one, and you just might be surprised to see a relation. Oh yeah, dont forget explaining this emotional depth thing of yours to me, so i understand what you mean when you mention it.




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