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The Shoulder War (Free verse) by Kitch

Once I cried, All the pain had died, And once I dried them, I saw a beautiful girl beside them. Oh how she makes me, Oh how she breaks me, In to little pieces, of past Christmas toys, Once she was silence, She became my noise. Two guardian Angels, Once tells me sin, One says be nice, But the Devil will win, For he’s ruled my life, And here in Dublin’s belly, I think of her and turn to jelly, Because she breaks me, She takes me away, And my Devil has gone astray.

richa 28-Jun-03/11:27 AM
first verse you mention 'you dried them' I know you mean tears but having to think about it ruins the rhythm.

the rest of the first verse is quite sweet

I wouldn't bother with the jelly and belly rhyme in the third




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