Replying to a comment on:

kruder&dorfmeister (Free verse) by rockinindividual

it was coffee shop music for lack of better words it was drums pounding rhythms and a voice crying out mutilated songs that were sewn back together a mass of scar tissue glossy and smooth you could say glossy and smooth, i suppose but you'd be forgetting those drums reverberating from rainforests and that voice that sexy sultry voice drifting from jazzy coffee shops you could say sexy and sultry, i suppose but then you're hit by a power chord fusion sending an electric current through us all widening our eyes and powering our hips filling our souls with a persistent pulsing dance beat escalating as our feet can't stand still you could say persistent and pulsing, i suppose but just when you think it will explode with emotion, it loses energy and power stripping down to the bare soul leaving nothing but that voice whispering carefully chosen words that weave through your mind brushing your lips with smiles it may not have a name it may not have a genre a windowless airless box leaving no room to breathe but thats all the better, i say breathe, i say fill your lungs with air and exhale your nameless music

thepinkbunnyofdoom 3-May-03/1:48 PM
I felt like this didn't hold my attention too well. Its not bad but it is lacking in some aspect that I feel could be there but isn't(I have no clue what it is either and thats driving me nuts). Its held back when it needs to read more smooth and sexy like a coffee house music. -5-




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001