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lusty (Free verse) by nolan

once again caught up in your grip thinking between the legs rather than with the heart it isn't true what they say lust is real it is a desire it holds you down makes you weak often to the point where you weep it feels so good to know you're not alone that there is something in your arms it takes a piece of you every time it's in your eyes but as easy as it comes it often leaves and leaves one to wonder if this pain is caused by lust then the tragedy of love may be enough to break a soul full of emotion

-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 24-Apr-03/3:47 PM
Beautiful. I especially enjoyed "makes you weak / often to the point where you weep". However, may I suggest the following alteration: "makes you weep / often to the point where you weep". Oh, and "soul full of emotion" is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. Ever. Also, great use of lower case letters throughout - it adds a touch of class that I feel is so desperately lacking from contemporary western literature. Now all you need to do is garnish with neat handwriting and a light sprinkling of "i think it's important to smile and yeah so what if i'm different i still have loads of chilled-out friends"




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