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Blinded (Lyric) by Dostoyevsky

Time slipping down frozen sand grains, Through a soul thats trapped in chains, Loosing my self in a drowning pool, For you im anything, i play the fool, Locked up hearts in a gilded cage, Nothing more than writing on a page, Words to you are lifes little game, Written for you, they dont mean the same, Perfect dreams of you like siren songs, For you i'll leave where my heart belongs, Lost and alone on a cloudless night, You are my inspiration, my one, my sight,

Ranger 6-Apr-03/8:09 AM
Right, here it is. I've been thinking about this one a bit and whereas there's some good stuff I believe that you should try to inject some beauty into it. The bit that gets me is 'drowning pool'. That has no relevance to the poem. Use a better adjective-one that's more truthful or change the line a bit. What about "Tumbling under this troubled pool". Well maybe not that but you get the idea.




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