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His Dying Words (2nd draft) (Free verse) by Ranger

Time slowed, and for an instant it seemed Forever, he was granted The eternity he required To explain how much more he wished he'd loved her And within a fraction of a cricket's song His final breath floated away With the wonderful words she longed for As they dissipated into the echoes Of a deserted corridor "I love you too", she wept But her child would never know Just how much so Condolences and cards rang hollow The maternity ward faded to silence

Ranger 6-Apr-03/7:42 AM
Why are you in a bad mood with me?

I didn't want fire and passion in this because it's supposed to be a sad poem. Please also give me an example of an intricacy, this wasn't something I wrote deliberately to look clever, it was done in approx 10 mins and I later edited.
Oh well, thank you for giving me your opinion.




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