Replying to a comment on:

On coming across a field of deer one afternoon (2) (Free verse) by <~>

Snap! Attune and pivot: A lithe and muscled escape, A whirling melee of grace, Spryly sprung over tumbled bramble. Crash! The tide ebbs, in haste, uphill: Ten tailed in tiny white flames Of ermined retreat. Run! To dun on dun: Gone.

Christof 1-Apr-03/7:17 AM
Great rhythm in the last two lines, and assonance to back it up. And the ten tails are perkily descriptive. Wowzers.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001