Replying to a comment on:

One More Mile (Lyric) by marvelis

I know the golden road that I take. I know it will try to make me break. It is the same road taken by the greatest of civil histories During their legendary journeys to immortal legacies. Though most who are willing venture on this God-created road perish, Who survives this devil-managed adventure, prizes he will cherish. From Alexander the Great of Macedonia to Napoleon of France. Gods who left Earth centuries ago but still receive praise. In modern literature of them we still talk. In their ageless footsteps I now do walk. The pebbles that tried to hold them back, Into my future they now attempt to hack. Hoping each of my limbs they have torn, Even desecrate the day that I was born. Driving me into ancient ground Where true strength is found. Worthless pebbles they may be, But mountains they appear to me. Towering through the clouds. My mind these demons do hound. Everyday this road gets harder. And everyday my heart grows colder. Every legend has had his Achilles heel. But the secret has been never to kneel. The doubts in my mind, Like no other they bind. Each has had to look deep inside Where true strength does reside. This road beyond the horizon does extend. Completing this journey I fully intend. I am not even halfway through this sacred battle; But in the end my demons to pieces I will rattle. Still one more mile for me to travel. One more part of myself to unravel.

Caducus 26-Mar-03/9:00 AM
Being a rhyme obsessive myself I have recently calmed the whole rhyme thing down and gone for imagery. I think ZZinnia has made the one point you should listen too. I think your quite talented but this dont really do anything for me and I blame the 1st line, the rest of its okay but okay isn't what you do normally, is it? (6)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001