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On coming across a field of deer one afternoon (2) (Free verse) by <~>

Snap! Attune and pivot: A lithe and muscled escape, A whirling melee of grace, Spryly sprung over tumbled bramble. Crash! The tide ebbs, in haste, uphill: Ten tailed in tiny white flames Of ermined retreat. Run! To dun on dun: Gone.

INTRANSIT 11-Mar-03/7:03 AM
I know why sprung is there ,but is'nt it past tense? this is happening now, i gather. Your pace is slowed with commas,while hasting? You're slowing something that happens quickly,yes? that is all. compared to v-1 this works better. lighter.




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