Poemranker [Replying] Thu Nov 21 15:30:25 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

if only you could read my mind love (Free verse) by sk8boardandpoems

One plus one equals two it should be me and you Your name sounds like a child so tender sweet and mild How much longer will i have to go without you by me makes me slow I want you right here next to me So we can go away and be free My world has no light without you in my sight I breathe you ,you are my air Sit right here and stroke my hair Hold me in your arms till the end of day To have you here there is no amount i can pay I feel the tears rolling down my face Thinking of why i cant have you in place Every breath i take is like a mistake I miss you ever so much come home soon because you are my crutch.

Caducus

8-Mar-03/3:27 AM

I know your a mere whippersnapper of 12 so I will think back to when I wrote at that age.
I hope this will help you:
First off your very brave entering a forum for writers where most people wont know your a kid and that your inexperienced at writing and totally un worldly wise.
All I will say is this, everything you write no matter how negative the reaction NEVER CHUCK IT AWAY as you may have a couple of good lines to use om a later poem. This may sound unorthodox for a poet to do but your merely trying to find an identity and style for your work. You may find out of a 60 line poem you like now that later you will detest and want to chuck away, --- dont do it. When I look back on work I wrote at 13/14/15 etc i cringe, but its an interesting diary reflect on, and if you date each book you write in you will see how much your style has changed.
My advice is simply ignore the votes and insulting, profane remarks and concentrate on the users who can help you.
We may be totally different in technique and style but I would advise you to look at some of these users poems and concentrate on maybe writing about something your ahead in, for example write about childhood, most of us are much older and have forgot the magic of childhood, so you have a forte in that field where you can describe a natural innocence and purity. Write about the penultimate moments in your life, growing up with brother and sisters, your gran and grandad are they still alive, what is your most vivid memory and then look at beautiful ways or original metaphors to write. Gods Wife is a metaphor genius for example one line she used to describe an overcast winter day was....'The sky turned confederate grey' now that original. I am by no means perfect but I have generally got something out of poetry, moved people, pissed people off, but achieved what I wanted to do and thats get a reaction and make a difference to an otherwise mundane existence.
This is my longest comment ever on ranker but I wanted to help you.

User List (by no means complete) who influenced me
---------------------------------------------

Tintagiles: Imagery genius, wild and evocative
Gods Wife: A real poet in every sense of the word.
Intransit: Learning his art but when hes good hes on fire.
Poeandknowit: a complete shit human being but good writer)
Mr Pig: His work is moving and descriptive.
Horus8: A diverse writer, very angry, controversial but always has a point to make and wicked S.O.H.
Zzinnia: Like Gods wife both have helped fucking dozens of writers and get treated like shit by some who cant take the criticism, listen to these people, poetry are there arteries, ZZinnia is a top haiku writer and she too is a cool writer.

Theres loads more, even view Rangers work hes only 17 but pretty damn good for his age.

I hope you give poetry a shot.

good luck sk8

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