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His Dying Words (2nd draft) (Free verse) by Ranger

Time slowed, and for an instant it seemed Forever, he was granted The eternity he required To explain how much more he wished he'd loved her And within a fraction of a cricket's song His final breath floated away With the wonderful words she longed for As they dissipated into the echoes Of a deserted corridor "I love you too", she wept But her child would never know Just how much so Condolences and cards rang hollow The maternity ward faded to silence

Ranger 2-Mar-03/8:06 AM
I know this might sound strange, but I agree with you on this. I have stopped attempting to rhyme because a) I'm not very good at anything more than the basics of it, and b) I find that it restricts what I can and can't write about.
I think that what people have missed for the two long ones (Am I still here and Epistemology) is that they are meant to be light hearted poems that don't stick to the subject of love and death that I find so many people write about all the time-I do a lot but most of my stuff's crap so I don't submit it. I was surprised at this one cause it seemed quite good and I like it. But yes, I do see what you're saying. Thanks for the comment.




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