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Prelude to a Legend (Free verse) by ThoughtfulSoul

I'm startled not by the the darkness that surrounds me, but the way my sub- conscious has created this hell What is my inner self trying to tell me as I lay in this short death for 8 hours? In this so called vision I always seem to be in this dying forest with this light coming from the little space between the trees. This light that breaks through the bitter black of the forest is my only compass throught this mess. The light shines in small spaces, but it seems the light with every dream is getting dimmer. I try to escape this forest but with every step my aspiration of getting out lessens. I can feel myself giving in, and I know that with every dream I feel more and more comfortable in this cold, isolated, horror of a place. The only thing keeping me from succumbing to this horrid place is the shouts of my soul telling me I am stronger than this. This light inside me tries to direct me in the right direction, but sadly its tries falls on deaf ears. But my soul will not give up on me and nor will I give up on myself And soon I hope to be out of this forest and into the light, but is THIS only a dream?

Ranger 16-Feb-03/12:34 AM
There are some great lines in here, but too much unnecessary description of feeling (as god'swife says). I can see that you'll make a good writer or poet if you try. This deserves a 7, ideas and images are there, they just need to be selected and emphasised more (yeah, I know, emotion's a bastard to get down onto paper, I can't do it very well. Actually I can't write poetry very well. Oh well.)




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