Replying to a comment on:

Beauty, sleeping (Free verse) by Ranger

Hers was not an apple But Icarus in a jetplane Wanting to fly out of bed To break the glass of the tower Then transform into a phoenix I attempted to rescue her But the thorns got her first Scratched her eyes No matter how much I cried She still couldn't see me She longed for a Prince To spin her a ladder of gold Climb past her mother Swing through the window But this Captain, riding his stallion Had a kingdom to manage So I left her to stamp and hurl lettuces And fairies They cast a spell at me I dodged and she slept for a hundred years I wept in the woods There the wolf wept too, for his grandma was dead He huffed And puffed And blew the princess away What a big heart you have

god'swife 5-Feb-03/6:00 PM
Sweet child, here it is. Here you have it. I will not criticize this because it is only a matter of small traditions, suh as puncuation and grammar. For now it doesn't matter, you are to young to be concerned with how you place your fingers, or exactly how strong or lightly the vibrato should sound. At your age all that matters is the ability to tap into the pysche and all its profound wisdom. Study every writer you love, copy them, ask for assignments. The precious thing that can't be taught I see here, in this poem. Focus on that for now. The direct link to the experience, make it all come crashing in. Technique is easy to master. Expression is a bitch. So for now, while you're still young and malleable learn how to express. It is a rare thing in men, and I for one, being a woman, am constantly searchig for insight to the other. I wilkl come back and edit this in a week or two. For now just be proud.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001