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Feeling (Free verse) by chicka_babe05

The touch of your eyes make me feel so good and knowing that I can always count on you I know God gave me this reason that I should the feeling when I'm around you Knowing I'm not in the state of selfhood this sensation I have when I'm with you The feeling can't be withstood the feeling that I want to be known to you I hope you could have the same feeling when I say, "I love you"

marvelis 4-Feb-03/5:15 PM
First of all razongrin you should think about going on American Idol; you'd probably dethrone Simon Cowell. As for chicka_babe05 and Feeling, no offense but as Robert Frost once said, "Poetry that doesn't rhyme is like playing tennis without a net." And so you know, your net is barely holding, if at all. My guess is this poem is for someone you like, hopefully male. So I understand that it has to be romantic and all, but don't rhyme words with the same words, and don't use 7 yous or variations of you in a 10 line poem. Poems like these make the listener or reader dumber than he/she already is. The sentimentality is there; but nothing else is there. Try to make it better, put more effort into it. And if you still can't come up with anything better than this, there's always stilling a poem online. Try lovepoems.com. I'm very helpful ain't I? (that's sarcastic in case you couldn't figure it out)-2- sympathy vote. At least you made some attempt and have the sentimentality part down




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