Replying to a comment on:

Wild Child (Other) by crimzon

Life's a wild child true and unbridled, mysteriously beautiful. It runs amiss with careless feet, through our worlds. Life's a wild child cruel and unkind, with a will so strong that it controls minds. The minds of those without self expression. Life's a wild child enlightening and bright. It sets us free from depressions chains, only to remain complicated and always misunderstood. Life's a wild child, lonely and cold. Its eyes are icey blue and stop us in our tracks, ultimately bringing us back into it's lingering grasp.

nentwined 26-Jan-03/4:17 AM
The repetition thing is something I do much myself, but this feels... cluttered and bloated. try to chop some words and ponder more strongly the images you've got. as well, consider why you're actually writing the poem, what you want to convey.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001