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Epistemology (2nd draft) (Lyric) by Ranger

Senses tell us much, but thinking tells us more Like the Greek philosopher sitting on the floor Contemplating issues such as morality And if we know anything, and what those things might be Think of the all-seeing fly glued onto the wall Romancing time for peace of mind before his deadly fall When he will question knowledge and what makes it so real Such as the sorts of qualities of his every meal He will wait for a future to fly to him so fast It crashed and got itself buried in the distant past He clears his mind and considers this thing we know as life His meditations were severed by the Idealist knife Cutting rational views its curious nature sought To find the heart of all of our naturally innate thoughts Science beat it there, now the real feud can begin In the end of the fight, though, all of us will win Despite the vicious lure of the coffin's hole Rene Descartes fled with his immortal soul Along the wooden path that boasts no real end Just a vaguely dim request for us to pretend While the external world runs past beyond our sight Socrates left the shadows and then he found the light Sadly for him, his arrogance showed through He would not run from the State and so he paid his due In the bitter cell from which he would not flee The ghost of Christmas Nevermore popped round for a cup of hemlock tea It's much too much, it's far too far, Pretence gave up and screamed Yet your brains remain plugged in to the Great Machine The Matrix some might call it, a name that seems quite odd But not if Descartes proved the existance of God Take a side, consider well, you can't sit on the fence Because there is not such a thing as normal common sense The choice is yours to face the truth here within your head But do you at all believe a single word I said?

god'swife 20-Jan-03/8:33 PM
ok here goes...
The first line is half good, the first half. try to come up with a more interestng way of saying the rest.
Is it important for the Greek to be sitting? If not just say the Greek..
Contemplating-- morality... Why do you put 'issues such as' in there? These are the things you need to eliminate, these terrible unnecessaries. They work for creating a character's personality, but since this is you talking, and your subject is complicated enough as it is, not to mention you're writing poetry, brevity is your friend.
...and what makes it do real...
...such as the sorts of...
...onto-should be 'to'...
...and what makes it so real(how about and it's reality')...
Oh well got to go libraries closing. I'll get back to it later tonight. The point is you are learning to crawl, and that's ok. Pay attention to those writers you admire, copy their style for a while, your's will emerge.




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