Replying to a comment on:
Instructions to a Sculptor
(
Free verse
) by
Christof
When I commission my statue Would you kindly ensure That you notch with a chisel A nick or a flaw In the top of the skull Or between ribs three and four: It's at the artist's discretion To decide where the score Most truthfully lies.
pomoxo
18-Jan-03/8:40 PM
I really like this, its earnestly unadorned my only problem is the use of 'truthfully' in the last line, it feels to me to be a little bland of a word, way too open and vague. to me it seems the meaning you're striving for w/ this word is closer to 'appropriately' err or something that would suggest the artist is placing the score in the place where it will most resonate. truthfully just feels kind of overarching but maybe that's just because i read alot of meaninglessness into the word 'truth' in general
Track and Plan your submissions
;
Read some Comics
;
Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001