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The Poem of an Eighth-Grader (Free verse) by jessicazee

I feel sad as a dandelion losing yellowness fast a setting sun, an evening of a flower. Wispy grey hair is all that remains that disappear with a child's weakest breath. Blow and little dead dancers fall, scatter, but it's okay, little girl, the seeds will plant themselves.

<~> 15-Jan-03/10:55 PM
very sweet. excellent idea for a poem. nice comparison.

okay, adult crticism, since you posted on an adult site:
dandelions don't lose color at night; they close up. it's really cool to watch. so, lesson #1: write about what you know. that being said, the 'help' page on this site has some great references. this is one of my favorites:
http://www.uni.edu/english/craft/imagery.html

keep up the good work!




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