Replying to a comment on:

Trust (Free verse) by hobojo

We slipped into sadness We both spiraled down We were in over our heads We both nearly drown I tried hard to climb out For so long I have grown And now look down with sadness To see you alone You reach for my hand Expecting my love "I am so sorry" I say as I look from above I tried to work with you I tried to assist Why didn't you let me Why did you resist

Caducus 19-Dec-02/9:15 AM
I dont always vote on the whole poem and this one by you is a classic example why.

Stanza 1 nothing wrong with it.
its a bit generalistic and wishy washy from there.

However I wrote a whole poem last week around 2 lines i wrote from a poem 10 years ago, it was well received on here so just remember all the poetry you write is good because you write it, the key is finding the path to peoples empathy and originating a unique style that people buy. Anyway happy holiday hobojo, 0 votes fly around on this site like tears in a pram its not bad ---5




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001