Replying to a comment on:

Frozen Angel (Lyric) by Ranger

Hear the shadows falling from deep beneath the well Flick and shine from off of the crystal-domed angel Whose timeless eyes of long-lost years will watch and wait and show But her day to be praised came centuries ago She stands alone like one of stone Buried deep in shallow ground The lilting rain brings no more pain To ears bereft of sound Her wings caress abandoned nests Caring for them 'till they're found And when, unchained, she's loved again Time's threads will have unwound There are those who think a heart-shaped hole Directs you to a ripped-out soul But if the heart should be replaced Which way around would they now face? Although she grieves she still believes In one more power-to-be But wily Fate did therefore state She nevermore would see And then did find that Love is blind Despite His cruel decree Her sole weak trait then calmed His hate And shone on you and me

Caducus 18-Dec-02/10:01 AM
This is your best rangerman and yogi likes it.
On stanza 3 you could change the last line slightly to 'Which way around would they be faced? (it rhymes and flows better)

Stanza 4 is a credit to you, I would've been pleased writing it.

Anyway as for not fully comprehending your work - worry not - as someone wise recently said on this site their is a certain magic, allurement to writing from the heart as it shows the characted of the poet as well as its subjects or subject. The last stanza is almost a poem on its own and the last stanza flows like wine at the last supper.

I have some suggestions for S2, they were merely reactionary thoughts after i had read yours.

She stands alone like one of stone
Buried deep in HALLOWED ground,
ASLEEP, FROM PRYING SOULS THAT GAZE THROUGH MORTAL WINDOWS,
UNDER THE WINGS OF THE CRYSTAL ANGEL,
SHE IS THE SOUND OF ITS WINGS,
FREE, FROM THE CONFINES OF DAY, OF NIGHT,
DESTINED TO BE SUNSHINE AND THE GLIMMER OF MOONLIGHT.
The lilting rain brings no more pain
To ears bereft of sound
Her wings caress AN abandoned nest
Caring for them 'till they're found,
And when, unchained,
LOVE CORONATES HER,
AND SHE IS ORDAINED, SHE IS FOUND
AND THE STANGLING VINES OF TIME have unwound.

(my version is in bold)

its hard to do this in this box.

anyway have an 8, its very good.





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