Replying to a comment on:

of people and places (final cut)I (Free verse) by INTRANSIT

I was studying the pattern of a tile mosaic once. I couldn't tell you how many colors there were. Or shades of colors. Or how many there were. Each tile a little frame occupying it's own space. No competition or noise. Just being part of the whole.

god'swife 17-Dec-02/2:40 PM
I'm not saying the question is necessarily the best idea, but I liked it more than what he changed it to. The current stanza feels stoic and purely academic, like I'm in class and the teacher's asking me to pay attention. It doesn't work for me with respect to the idea behind the poem. I think there is a better alternative, What do you think?




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