You don't want me to say these things aloud nor think nor feel them But here is all this time gone between us, none of it wasted, all of it lived And in my questionings when the night quiets and the darkness is home There is only one name I hear I would ask you, as she lays dormant beside you, closed to all sense of you, more open at rest than when she's awake, Where are your dreams? Mine find me on that sunlit shore in early May When I felt you from afar, before you came to your senses, before you turned me away, before the quietus of us In my nightly visions, visceral and full, in caress after caress I selfishly destroy all that you have built What gifts has sleep for you? Blessed emptiness? Troubled longings? Innocence again? Night is my home You are always here, heavy inside where my pulse is strongest and there is nothing I would not give to be in your arms tonight Go on, smile at my foolishness