poetandknowit19 Nov 2002

I am a firm beliver in simplified language to get the point across, but at time I think the language her is too simplified: "tall tree" (wouldn't we somewhat assume the tree is tall?). "rocky ridge on a bright clear day" - not only is this passage a bit over simplified but it is vague. And then you give absence a gender. What are your referring to? god? Did the narrator fall and get knocked out? It is just confusing, And the beginning images do not seem to connect with the meeting of. Make sense? I am more interested to know what happened on the rocky ridge, in concise images that brought you to the realizations you are making in the front of the poem.