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Absence (Free verse) by newdawnfades

Only in absence will I know how the bird feels, gliding over the tall tree. Only in absence will I know how to dream with eyes that do not blink. Absence is like an old abandoned house. Entering an empty room with an empty chair, stepping over the dust of old footprints where might solitary foots once tread. Only absence can show me how to be without form, without meaning, without life, without death. I once met absence on a rocky ridge on a bright clear day without mind, without sound, without I, without you, only absence. He stood there on a worn trail suffocating, choking me like some poor helpless infant. I thought I had died there but I woke, finally knowing how the bird feels.

poetandknowit 19-Nov-02/4:39 PM
I am a firm beliver in simplified language to get the point across, but at time I think the language her is too simplified: "tall tree" (wouldn't we somewhat assume the tree is tall?). "rocky ridge on a bright clear day" - not only is this passage a bit over simplified but it is vague. And then you give absence a gender. What are your referring to? god? Did the narrator fall and get knocked out? It is just confusing, And the beginning images do not seem to connect with the meeting of. Make sense? I am more interested to know what happened on the rocky ridge, in concise images that brought you to the realizations you are making in the front of the poem.




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