Replying to a comment on:
"Why would I need to get in touch with you?"
(
Free verse
) by
Limness
The weight of those words crushes me The mean in between /that you did not think/ sinks /and i bleed quietly/ It's nothing It's nothing You didn't blink
INTRANSIT
18-Nov-02/2:46 PM
The change is an improvement. I would drop one "nothing". Or, last line : Did not blink. I dunno, scribble it on paper first.
Track and Plan your submissions
;
Read some Comics
;
Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001