Replying to a comment on:

Little Girl and Mom's mistake (Free verse) by t_t_redhot

Little girl, why didn't you mom buckle you up? Why didn't she realize you were too small to go without a car seat. Did your mom see the car comming and hold you tight? Did she scream in fear? Was there time? Did you know that something was wrong? Was you scared? Did you feel safe? As the truck hit your mom's car did you feel the pain? Did you feel the windshild break as you went through? Did you stand beside you body and wonder what happened? Were the angels pretty? Did you realize that you were in heaven? Little girl, I don't know you but I am sorry for what happened. I am sorry I could not save you, but you are in a better place. Maybe others can learn from your mom's mistake. Maybe your death will help to save others.

Tintagiles 6-Nov-02/6:49 AM
'There is' indeed... People are not asking for more blood here. We are asking for this to be something more than telling us what happened. This reads like a newspaper article. There is nothing interesting about it. It's very sad and all, but nothing more. as I said in a deleted comment, try writing it in nursery rhyme form. That might make it quite touching, if you did it well.




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