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Strong (Free verse) by little_angel_maria

I wont let you bring me down, I wont let you cuss me, I wont let you ruin my life, I wont let you take away what i worked so hard to get, I wont let you ruin my life, Oh hell no! Because I'm strong, Oh yes! I am strong. I can make it i'm strong, Oh yes! Somehow I will make it on my own. I wont let you kill my inner self, I wont let you make me a scared freak, Oh hell no I won't, I'm strong and yes I can make it on my own. My friend blade will be there for me if things get tough, Oh yes I can make it, I wont let you say my poems are crap, I wont let you be rude to other people, I wont let you kill America, OH hell fuck no! I wont let you discriminate latinos or black people too. Because i am Maria and I am strong

Tintagiles 26-Oct-02/7:13 PM
Yes, dear girl, I do have some nerve. I quite agree. And I don't doubt I'd make all my comments to your face, too. What does Christof have to do with any of this? And I'm sure Blade would never hurt me -- he'd only try to rip out my throat, bite out my vocal cords with his plastic fangs and all that. the problem is that he'd fail. Anyway, I shall be vaguely nice: I honestly think that you should not post your poetry. You are apparently too sensitive for it. I don't necessarily think you shouldn't write: but don't show it. It's not up to standards. For starters, get over your problem, with therapy or not. I do believe that writing these things has helped you a lot, 'Daniella' and 'Why?', for example. But as poetry, they are horrendous. I believe you wrote them under the full fling of the emotion, and that rarely makes for good poetry. Or, for that matter, good art. To make an analogy, when both Mozart and Tchaikovsky wrote their most celebratedly depressive and depressed works -- the 'Requiem' and the 'Symphonie Pathetique' respectively -- they were actually in very high spirits. And many of the most sunny works in existence were created during their creator's darkest days. Keep on writing these affairs of yours -- but perhaps when you are over your past you will be able to write about in a way that will not be a mind-boggling annoying stream of inanities. Get over it, then we can talk about how to fix your poems -- right now, I don't think there's any point, among other things because I can't see anything to save them, or very little, and secondly because you are apparently not mature enough to take criticism. For an example of what I mean about your poetry, go read God's Wife's poem 'No Angel Came' and then compare it to your 'Why?' The difference, and the deficiencies of your work, should be immediatedly apparent




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