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Synergy (Free verse) by searching

Reflection on time, a day in a life The ease and joy, the absence of strife A lull in the storm, the soul calm and still Impervious to pain imposed without will. The heart feels so light, like soft wind in the trees A harmonious companion, like feathers on the breeze The grace of this moment, the gift of this time An experience of freedom, the feeling? - sublime.

anonymous 19-May-02/11:06 AM
i recognise the feeling
but feel your poetic voice dowsn't match your perecption; the wisdom of the last line of the first verse is almost lost by being awkwardly expressed. "so" is usually a filler word, as here, and so :-) diminishes the poem. Cd be "my heart feels light, like soft wind.." or even "this heart"

Beginning with a noun phrase is a bit odd, no dynamic, juvenile... but the insight is there.




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