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Fact About the Wind (Haiku) by Ninoy_Instigator

The wind is blowing It has carried her along She's here before me We talked a little We expressed our deepest love A beautiful love The wind blew again It blew that girl far away Wind can be so cruel

poetandknowit 18-Oct-02/2:15 PM
She must be exceptionally light. "We talked a little" sounds like small talk, but then you express your deepest love. I would work on that line a bit. It comes off a bit awkward. And also try to remove the passive phrasing in exchange for active voice. It should help the poem move along better and keep the reader more in tune.




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