Blue Magpie11 Oct 2002

Hi,
I like the fact that this has some rhyme and rhythm, not that that is essential, but it oftens adds well. However there are a number of places where simple adjustments could make improvements.

for example.

The choices made on night before
The choices made the night before

substituting the for on here makes the whole thing more grammatical and flows just as well, thus it is easier on the mind.