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Necromancers Song (Incubus Guitar & Buddhist Drums) (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer

We traveled the sky, along the winking stars to reach the moons midnight bar where ravens dance in the exotic ivory glow-- There you played an incubus' guitar to the beat of my buddhist drums and the necromantic tune of the lead singer glorifying the life of a rogue to the crowd; A concert of wicked drollery- where our songs were heard by souls smoking hand-carved wooden pipes or drinking their chosen poison-- The home where our questionable demeanor was accepted, at times applauded or draped with scorn. Now the smoke has cleared, the liquors been drained; I listen to the silence left by unconscious bodies strewn across the floor- wondering where we've gone if anywhere-- Perdition or Elysium?

Jill Stockinger 2-Jan-21/5:42 PM
moon's midnight (add apostrophe)-
you might consider using "among" the stars or even
"with" the stars- or "along with the winking stars."
Liked winking in there!
liquor's been drained (apostrophe- standing for the liquor has been drained). I really liked "the home where our questionable demeanor was accepted, at times applauded" and felt that was next sadly contradicted by "or draped with scorn"- maybe soften that with- or occasionally draped with scorn? Liked this very much, good capture of a scene- good question at the end!




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